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# Interpretation
- URL: https://theunfold.ing/interpretation/
- Published: 2026-08-02T16:25:31.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-23T22:39:09.000Z
- Description: After the Zoom window disappeared, the words from the conversation followed me down the stairs. Somewhere between the black screen and the kitchen, I could no longer tell which judgments had been spoken aloud—and which ones I had been carrying for years.
- Author: Jennie Denney
- Tags: Essays

The Zoom window disappeared, leaving only my reflection against the black screen. I just sat there.

I blinked. *Why did you think you deserved that position?*

I swallowed. *Who do you think you are?*

My hands touched the keyboard. *You completely overestimated yourself.*

I blinked again. *You're arrogant. You're not qualified. You're not ready. You haven't earned this. You're not enough. You aren't as gifted as you think. They made the right decision.*

The sentences echoed louder now than they had a few moments before. Or maybe that wasn't exactly what she'd said. I couldn't tell anymore.

I shifted in my chair. *You should know your place.*

I looked away. *Don't make yourself so visible.*

My breath caught. *You haven't earned that yet.*

I went still. *You're too much.*

I couldn't tell anymore which words had come from her...and which ones I'd been carrying for years.

I stared at the black screen. The room was quiet again.

My head rang. My legs felt stiff as I pushed myself out of the chair. I stood there for a moment, waiting for the floor to steady beneath me before making my way toward the stairs.

One step. Then another. Each foot felt strangely heavy, as though I were walking through water. 

*Maybe she's right.* Another step.

*Maybe I never should have applied.* Another.

*Maybe everyone else saw something I couldn't.* I gripped the handrail.

*Maybe this is why doors keep closing.* Another step.

*Maybe I've mistaken ambition for calling.* I rounded the corner into the kitchen.

The voices hadn't quieted. They pressed against the inside of my chest, each one demanding to be believed. Each one insisting it had always been true.

By the time I reached the kitchen, I wasn't sure what had actually been said. I only knew what I had heard.

"How was it?"

I realized I didn't know how to answer. Instead*,* I heard myself ask, *"What are your spiritual direction appointments usually like?"*

"What do you mean?"

I took a breath. *"She asked me why I thought I deserved the position."*

The words caught in my throat. *"I should have known the denomination's language before I ever applied."*

I looked down at my hands. *"I'd overestimated myself."*

The room was quiet. *"That they made the right decision."*

I kept going. Sentence after sentence. I wasn't trying to make a point. I was just trying to explain what had happened.

"Jenn..."

I stopped. The room was quiet. My words hung in the space between us. I heard them. Really heard them.

The words hadn't changed. But something had. 

My chest loosened. Just enough to breathe. 

And for the first time...I considered that someone could speak with absolute confidence...

...and still be wrong about me.